Working PeopleSmart: 6 Strategies for Success
Melvin L Silberman, Freda Hansburg
Language: English
Pages: 208
ISBN: 1576752089
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
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getting positive feedback from supervisors. Too often, managers adopt an attitude of “no news is good news,” expecting silence to be interpreted as satisfaction. We’ve even heard the explicit view that “professionals shouldn’t need to be praised for doing a good job.”105 We think this is misguided. Psychologists have long known that reward is a more powerful tool than punishment when the goal is to shape behavior. Teachers have a saying, “Catch ‘em doing something right,” that applies the same
new assignment so graciously. It was a big help.”). 125 For most of us, the idea of being open to resistance is akin to welcoming a head cold. But it is one of life’s paradoxes that the times when we are most eager to push our own causes are the very times when we must be most receptive to counter-arguments. Who ever said life was fair? To grasp this paradox, consider Newton’s Law: Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Pushing back is a law of nature. In the martial arts, an
people-smart is it to argue with someone who’s pointing a gun at you? Disarming is perhaps the most challenging mode of being open to resistance. It requires calmness and respect during the heat of battle. Sometimes it’s just too difficult to pull off. However, disarming is an incredibly powerful technique that can defuse and transform even the most highly charged encounter quickly and painlessly, clearing the air for genuine dialogue and understanding. Use this approach successfully just once
her way. In contrast, someone who is anxious about being in control may decide to let others call the shots. Someone anxious about connection might act like a social leech while someone else might withdraw or reject others. Someone anxious about competence might be a braggart while someone else might act like a failure. Imagine you have a co-worker named Steve. Here is how you see him, if you look at him only with fury rather than with curiosity: Steve is arrogant, opinionated, and sloppy about
she pops into my office to pump me for information about what’s “really” going on in the organization. Not only that, but she even offers me all sorts of unwanted advice about how to handle others in the department. We had a pretty close relationship, but her behavior is making me want to avoid her now. Is there a tactful way to set her straight?” 22 A: You might begin by giving some thought to what may be driving her behavior. Do you think she’s afraid of losing her personal connection with
