Start with NO...The Negotiating Tools that the Pros Don't Want You to Know
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Think win-win is the best way to make the deal? Think again. It’s the worst possible way to get the best deal. This is the dirty little secret of corporate America.
For years now, win-win has been the paradigm for business negotiation—the “fair” way for all concerned. But don’t believe it. Today, win-win is just the seductive mantra used by the toughest negotiators to get the other side to compromise unnecessarily, early, and often. Have you ever heard someone on the other side of the table say, “Let’s team up on this, partner”? It all sounds so good, but these negotiators take their naive “partners” to the cleaners, deal after deal. Start with No shows you how they accomplish this. It shows you how such negotiations end up as win-lose. It exposes the scam for what it really is. And it guarantees that you’ll never be a victim again.
Win-win plays to your emotions. It takes advantage of your instinct and desire to make the deal. Start with No teaches you how to understand and control these emotions. It teaches you how to ignore the siren call of the final result, which you can’t really control, and how to focus instead on the activities and behavior that you can and must control in order to negotiate with the pros.
Start with No introduces a system of decision-based negotiation. Never again will you be out there on a wing and a prayer. Never again will you feel out of control. Never again will you compromise unnecessarily. Never again will you lose a negotiation.
The best negotiators:
* aren’t interested in “yes”—they prefer “no”
* never, ever rush to close, but always let the other side feel comfortable and secure
* are never needy; they take advantage of the other party’s neediness
* create a “blank slate” to ensure they ask questions and listen to the answers, to make sure they have no assumptions and expectations
* always have a mission and purpose that guides their decisions
* don’t send so much as an e-mail without an agenda for what they want to accomplish
* know the four “budgets” for themselves and for the other side: time, energy, money, and emotion
* never waste time with people who don’t really make the decision
Start with No offers a contrarian, counterintuitive system for negotiating any kind of deal in any kind of situation—the purchase of a new house, a multimillion-dollar business deal, or where to take the kids for dinner. It is full of dozens of business as well as personal stories illustrating each point of the system. It will change your life as a negotiator. If you put to good use the principles and practices revealed here, you will become an immeasurably better negotiator.
proposal had been crafted to work in tandem to minimize the risk of failure for the chipmaker, my client simply couldn’t agree to break their proposal into pieces, because this would have undermined their M&P. Of course, the supply system management people with the chipmaker weren’t thinking in these terms. They saw their job as saving money up front. So the crux of the negotiation revolved around getting the real decision makers at the chipmaker (the challenge of finding the real decision
into an early discussion might be “How will you measure us from this point forward?” Let’s return to the infamous negotiation involving the baseball umpires, which we talked about in chapter 4. Say their mission and purpose is, as I’ve already suggested, “to get the players, the fans, and the lords of the game to see and decide that the umpires provide the highest level of expertise in calling balls and strikes and plays at the bases while remaining invisible on the field.” One good
some time off those two years of waiting. Neither positive nor negative expectations have a place in my system. You blank slate and you negotiate, that’s all. When you have a mission and purpose in place, when you have behavioral goals in place, when you’ve established your plan to solve the real problem, when you have laserlike focus—when you have all this going for you, why would you want to climb on any kind of emotional roller coaster of expectations? Once you really start using my system,
were married to the horse and buggy assumed that they were in a lot of trouble, but other blacksmiths saw nothing but opportunity from the newfangled automobiles—opportunity in the form of service stations and repair bills. They were able and willing to see things new, to see things as they now were, to blank slate and thereby to seize opportunity. In 1982, air traffic controllers assumed that President Reagan wouldn’t have the guts to lock them out. Ouch. The baseball umpires, as mentioned in
months, it could be longer. It depends on how hard you work and your native talent. All I know is this: Every day you’ll become more adept with the system and more confident that it works and more knowledgeable about how and why it works. Every day you’ll be a better negotiator than you were yesterday, and one day, for the first time in your business life, you’ll start to achieve at a level approaching your potential. I guarantee it. The Thirty-three Rules • Every negotiation is an