Pornified: How Pornography Is Transforming Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families
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until high school. “I would teach my daughter that acting the way women do in pornography is not the way to please a man in real life. I would make sure she understood that the value of a person stems from within.” He will tell his daughter that when boys look at her that way, they’re objectifying her; they’re seeing her as a piece of meat. She shouldn’t abide by that. She should be the one to dictate how they see her so they don’t value her purely for sex. If Ethan’s kids found out that he looks
regular movies, containing no sexually explicit content. Finally, the fourth group, the control, was shown no films whatsoever during the six-week period, which took place between 1979 and 1980. The erotic films that subjects watched were far tamer than much of today’s hardcore fare. All sexual acts portrayed were heterosexual and consensual. The films’ sexual activities were confined to oral, anal, and vaginal sex, and none involved coercion or the deliberate infliction or reception of pain.
to themselves. Most don’t think about quantifying the amount they view. Others would rather not know. It’s better to hide it, many men figure. Women won’t understand. Zach’s last girlfriend, Jeanne, asked if he looked at pornography and the twenty-three-year-old Web site developer admitted to her that he did. She was jealous he was looking at other girls, but he made sure she knew that porn was no competition. “You don’t get attached to it,” he told her. Zach doesn’t understand why women take it
a couple. Indeed, those fantasies can help maintain and enhance a relationship. Nor is it an acceptable alternative to eradicate such fantasies. Is it not his right—and hers as well—to have private fantasies? One partner cannot control what goes on in the other’s mind; at some point, one person ends and the other begins. So what’s wrong with fantasizing, assuming one can keep fantasy separate from reality? Eliot, a twenty-eight-year-old musician from New York, would say, “Not a thing.” Eliot
eventually crossed the gender line. It began in chat rooms, where he started talking to men as well, at first discussing women and couples. “My theory is that all porn is focused on ejaculation,” Charlie explains. “All men talk about the ‘money shot’ and if you immerse yourself in porn, you eventually become obsessed with ejaculation and that can become an attraction in itself. Which then can lead to an attraction to male sexuality.” Charlie purchased a Web camera and communicated and masturbated