The Unnoticeables: A Novel (The Vicious Circuit)
Robert Brockway
Language: English
Pages: 288
ISBN: 0765379678
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
From Robert Brockway, Sr. Editor and Columnist of Cracked.com comes The Unnoticeables, a funny and frightening urban fantasy.
There are angels, and they are not beneficent or loving. But they do watch over us. They watch our lives unfold, analyzing us for repeating patterns and redundancies. When they find them, the angels simplify those patterns and remove the redundancies, and the problem that is "you" gets solved.
Carey doesn't much like that idea. As a punk living in New York City, 1977, Carey is sick and tired of watching strange kids with unnoticeable faces abduct his friends. He doesn't care about the rumors of tar-monsters in the sewers or unkillable psychopaths invading the punk scene―all he wants is to drink cheap beer and dispense ass-kickings.
Kaitlyn isn't sure what she's doing with her life. She came to Hollywood in 2013 to be a stunt woman, but last night a former teen heartthrob tried to eat her, her best friend has just gone missing, and there's an angel outside her apartment. Whatever she plans on doing with her life, it should probably happen in the few remaining minutes she has left.
There are angels. There are demons. They are the same thing. It's up to Carey and Kaitlyn to stop them. The survival of the human race is in their hands.
We are, all of us, well and truly screwed.
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didn’t seem concerned about what I might do. That I might report him. He even seemed to think I wanted him here. Did he really think we were … dating? I almost laughed at the thought, but there were already enough crazies laughing to themselves on my bus ride home. Funny girl. I find that I’m liking funny girls. No, Jackie. I swiped at the screen of my phone, smearing restaurant grease over the surface. No matter how many times you wash your hands, that viscous ooze stays on you for hours
smell worse. It burns like crazy when they touch you.” Carey turned and showed me a vicious, cigar-shaped scar on the back of his neck. “It’s like being grabbed by pure acid. They’ve melted some good friends of mine down to a nasty pink fluid. And near as I can tell? There’s no reason for it. They don’t eat you, or drink you, or do anything with any part of you. They just wander around dissolving your friends into puddles because they’re giant supernatural assholes with nothing better to do.”
wallet like it was communion. He was equal parts reverent and dubious. He wasn’t used to lucky breaks and he didn’t understand charity like this. He had no way to process his good fortune. He looked inside. “All you got in the world is twenty bucks?” he said, already wandering off. “Bollocks!” Jezza’s eyes were rolling around in his head like loose marbles. “They have killed her,” Wash said, then looked to me. “Is that right?” “Yeah,” I confirmed. “I don’t think Thing 2 made it through that.”
started screaming. Something was dragging him backward. He clutched at my jacket, but it was too wet with blood and sweat to get purchase. I grabbed for his hands, but I was just too fucking slow. Jezza disappeared in a forest of legs. I tried to go after him, but whenever I moved my arm, the door just started slamming shut on me. I couldn’t get the leverage to haul myself all the way back inside. “What is it?” Wash yelled. “They got Jezza. Help me get—” Something big, pale, and fleshy
lighter, we could—” “Do you want a cigarette, right now?” Wash asked, confused. “No, dipshit. For light.” “Oh,” he said, and his hand dropped away from my shoulder. There was a metallic clack, and then a fucking meteor flared into life. “Jesus,” I said, shielding my eyes from the blinding flame. “Are you kidding me? Tell me that you’re kidding me, Wash.” “I am not kidding you. What would I be kidding you about?” “You had your lighter all this time, and you didn’t think to use it?” “You did
