The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy Is as Necessary as Love and Sex
David M. Buss
Language: English
Pages: 227
ISBN: 0965013472
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
Why do men and women cheat on each other? How do men really feel when their partners have sex with other men? What worries women more -- men who turn to other women for love or men who simply want sexual variety in their lives? Can the jealousy husbands and wives experience over real or imagined infidelities be cured? Should it be? In this surprising and engaging exploration of men's and women's darker passions, David Buss, acclaimed author of The Evolution of Desire, reveals that both men and women are actually designed for jealousy. Drawing on experiments, surveys, and interviews conducted in thirty-seven countries on six continents, as well as insights from recent discoveries in biology, anthropology, and psychology, Buss discovers that the evolutionary origins of our sexual desires still shape our passions today.
According to Buss, more men than women want to have sex with multiple partners. Furthermore, women who cheat on their husbands do so when they are most likely to conceive, but have sex with their spouses when they are least likely to conceive. These findings show that evolutionary tendencies to acquire better genes through different partners still lurk beneath modern sexual behavior. To counteract these desires to stray -- and to strengthen the bonds between partners -- jealousy evolved as an early detection system of infidelity in the ancient and mysterious ritual of mating.
Buss takes us on a fascinating journey through many cultures, from pre-historic to the present, to show the profound evolutionary effect jealousy has had on all of us. Only with a healthy balance of jealousy and trust can we be certain of a mate's commitment, devotion, and true love.
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walking through the woods and fleetingly sensing a slithering object scurry underneath some leaves in the path directly in front of you. There are two possible states of reality: either there is a dangerous snake in your path or there is not a dangerous snake in your path. Given the incomplete and uncertain information that you have perceived, there are also two inferences you could make. There is indeed a dangerous snake, and you act to avoid it. Or you could conclude that there is no snake and
adolescence his mother having sex with a man other than her husband. In the first case, the husband was 47 and the wife 41 when they came for therapy. The couple had been married for more than two decades and had three beautiful children. Although the wife had an active and rewarding social life outside the home, she found that life with her husband had turned into a nightmare. Her husband’s jealousy started shortly after they were married and intensified during her first pregnancy. For this and
with Bantu men.” In cultures the world over, men find the thought of their partner having sexual intercourse with other men intolerable. Suspicion or detection of infidelity causes many men to lash out in furious anger rarely seen in other contexts. A Range of Injuries Paul Mullen of the University of Otago documented a range of violent behavior in a sample of 138 patients who were referred to therapy because of jealousy. Some acts of jealous violence were commonplace, such as pushing,
who may be smarter, funnier, more exciting, more dependable, more intelligent, or more beautiful to behold. From your persepctive, you risk getting dumped every time your partner meets someone else. This leaves you vulnerable. The odds are that sooner or later your partner will meet someone who might be a bit better than you on the harsh metric of mate value, someone who also wants your partner just as much as you do. The costs of getting abandoned are severe. We risk losing all of the effort we
devoted to searching for and courting a mate. Anyone who’s been frustrated, impatient, and bored with the singles scene knows what a drag it is to have to start from scratch to form a new relationship. You need some way to ensure that a partner is unswervingly committed to you and won’t leave you when someone new moves to town. It would be foolish to enter a relationship otherwise. If commitment and the risk of abandonment are the problems, love is the solution, since it’s a passion that defies
