I Shouldn't Even Be Doing This: And Other Things That Strike Me as Funny

I Shouldn't Even Be Doing This: And Other Things That Strike Me as Funny

Bob Newhart

Language: English

Pages: 256

ISBN: 1401309151

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


The first book ever from an icon of American comedy--a hilarious combination of stories from his career and observations about life

That stammer. Those basset-hound eyes. That bone-dry wit. There has never been another comedian like Bob Newhart. His comedy albums, movies, and two hit television series have made him a national treasure and placed him firmly in the pantheon of comedy legends. Who else has a drinking game named after him And now, at last, Newhart puts his brilliant and hysterical world view on paper.

Never a punch-line comic, always more of a storyteller, he tells anecdotes from throughout his life and career, including his beginnings as an accountant and the groundbreaking success of his comedy albums and The Bob Newhart Show and Newhart, which gave him fifteen years on primetime television. And he also gives his wry, comedic twist to a multitude of topics, including golf, drinking, and family holidays.

Today, Newhart appears on Desperate Housewives, in hit movies such as Elf, and in theaters around the country. Reruns of his shows air constantly on Nick at Nite--have recently been released with great success for the first time ever on DVD. With this book, Bob Newhart gives his millions of fans a first ever opportunity to sample his unique brand of humor--including excerpts from some of his classic routines--on the printed page.

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supplanted my record, I was philosophical about it. “Well, you hate to lose a record, especially when you don’t know you hold it, but at least it went to a friend.” Really, I didn’t know I had the record. What good is a record if you don’t know you hold it? Seriously, the sales statistics of my first two albums were impressive. I’ve read that The Button-Down Mind sold more than one million copies and outsold every album made by the Beatles in the sixties. The Button-Down Mind Strikes Back sold

in the back of my mind that one day I would walk up onstage, nobody would laugh, and the manager would toss me out into the street. Or worse, the audience just wouldn’t show up, which tells you, “We know your trick; we’re on to your trick.” As I was packing for L.A., I received a phone call asking if I could come out a day early. A prominent entertainment attorney named Greg Bautzer wanted me to perform at a private party at his house. He was offering me $1,500 for the night, which is what I was

was I filled out a report on it. Well, I don’t want to give the building a bad name either, sir, but I doubt very much if we can cover it up, sir. The planes are shooting at him, and people are going to come to work in the morning and some of them are going to notice the ape in the street and the broken window, and they will start putting two and two together. I think we’re safe on that score, sir. I doubt very much if he signed the book downstairs. You don’t care what I do … just get the ape off

want to share with you the alternative titles I had for this book. I was told by my editor that titles sell books, so the first title I proposed was A Slimmer You in Three Weeks. That would’ve been an instant best seller because diet books sell like crazy. But my publisher’s weak-kneed lawyers refused to approve the title because there were no diet tips in my book. My next title was Finding Mr. Right, because dating books are also very popular. Again, the attorneys nixed this idea, this time on

textbook swing. Even the pro at my country club says I have a smooth swing. Anyone who knows anything about golf could see that if I used my normal swing, I’d break one hundred. The movie wouldn’t be believable unless I altered my swing. So I went to the driving range and watched guys with bad swings. I made a composite out of all the bad swings. This was as close as I come to method acting. The funny thing is, it didn’t mess up my game. I’m not denigrating religion by comparing it to golf.

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