Heavy Lifting: Grow Up, Get a Job, Raise a Family, and Other Manly Advice

Heavy Lifting: Grow Up, Get a Job, Raise a Family, and Other Manly Advice

Jim Geraghty

Language: English

Pages: 256

ISBN: 1621574148

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub

What has happened to men in America? Once upon a time, men in their twenties looked forward to settling down and having children. Today, most young men seem infected by a widespread Peter Pan syndrome. Unwilling to give up the freedom to sleep late, play video games, dress like a slob, and play the field, today’s men wallow in an extended adolescence, ostensibly unaware that they’re setting themselves up for a depressing, lonely existence.

In this hilarious ode to male adulthood, Jim Geraghty and Cam Edwards—two happily married, 40-year-old men—have a simple message for their younger peers: Grow up!

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Non Blonde songs), the woman I was trying to impress was impressed, and I even had a chance to sing a couple of songs I’d written about her to her face. Things were going well for the band, but to my surprise so was my backup plan to be a journalist, since I was now a producer at a local television station. I enjoyed my day job and worked hard at it (after all, it was paying the bills), but I thought it was tiding me over until our band’s big break. Instead, the band had a big breakup. In a

evening out with her, how in the world do you expect her to do the same? Now imagine if you called her and said, “I’ve got this after-work happy hour—want to meet there and I’ll take you to dinner afterward?” Suddenly it’s much clearer. And then you’ve got a shot. What Would Ward Cleaver Do? In Ward’s day, there was no hiding behind electronic media; you actually had to ask a girl out. And he had been in the Navy as a Seabee. Their motto? “Can do!” 12 Getting Married TICK TICK TICK Can you

of human biology that doesn’t always play along with our altered life schedule: human reproduction. We’re not going to say there’s an age at which you should have children, but we are going to say women have good reasons to want to get started in a particular age window. Before we go any further, let’s note that there’s an enormous range in human fertility. Once again, those paranoia-driven school health classes may have given some folks the wrong idea. (“Remember, boys, if you stare at a young

perfect together because they “have so much in common.” Your spouse isn’t supposed to be a clone of you; you’re supposed to have offsetting strengths, weaknesses, perspectives, and ideas. She’s a woman, after all, and you’re a man; you’re different, Cam Advice for New Husbands 109 and that’s good; it’s literally what makes life possible, not to mention more fun. Cam Things That Go ZZZZZ in the Night Before I was married, I foolishly assumed that living with my wife wouldn’t be that

lifestyle of the Sultan of Brunei, they’re quite reluctant to let go of that dream. Thus, as you tour the open houses—all too often, scheduled for 1 p.m. on Sundays, because apparently the entire real estate world hates football fans—you will find yourself in the presence of an excruciatingly cheery realtor or realtor assistant who seems to think that you’re eager to sign over a five-, a six-, or even a seven-figure sum just because they put out a dish of candy that they couldn’t give away last

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