Friends Forever: How Girls and Women Forge Lasting Relationships
Suzanne Degges-White
Language: English
Pages: 290
ISBN: 1442202009
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
Though a woman's life and the world around them may change, it's the promise of friendship that remains an irreplaceable constant. From their biological and cultural origins to the varied manifestations of social connections, this book explores the deep bonds forged between women. By sharing stories from girls and women throughout their lives, the authors thoughtfully illustrate the roles that contemporary social relationships play at different stages in our lives while offering insights to deeper self-understanding and for finding, establishing, and sustaining relationships at any age.
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reveal personal information about themselves at a pace and depth that matches our own. However, to borrow a term from popular culture, TMI, or “too much information,” revealed too soon in an acquaintanceship can halt a potential friendship in its tracks.9,10 Inappropriate sharing of personal information can cause discomfort for the listener—and for the speaker a day or so down the road. If potential friends move into a synchronous and interactive engagement with us, and unveil intimate
playing kickball, playing hide-and-seek, digging for worms, or bringing Barbie dolls to the park, experiencing joy and laughter with our early friends provides us with positive “play memories” that stay with us throughout our lives. 5 12 Adolescent Friendships Seeking Ourselves in Our Friends This chapter explores the passionate role friendship plays in the lives of adolescents. We look at identity development in terms of an adolescent’s search for self and how this search is influenced by
shift in our time perspective. Several decades ago, Bernice Neugarten described the internal clock we carry inside ourselves that we use as a measure of how well we are 107 108 Chapter 9 keeping our lives on track.1 This clock is “numbered” by the significant milestones that mark a life (e.g., graduations, engagements, marriages, childbearing, retirements). For instance, generations past assumed that marriage would occur by one’s twentieth birthday and babies would begin arriving by the
growing up, I had a semidysfunctional childhood—and I took on the “super achiever” role in my family. I had to be careful making friends when I was young and I couldn’t always expect things to go smoothly at home when friends were visiting. The shame I had about my family problems led me to be super independent, super responsible, and, as a result, super lonely! I spent so much time learning how to take care of myself and my family that I began to believe that being independent and not needing
landscape and how well they thrive in the location in which they are currently rooted. Do you feel that they are planted in the best spot for maintaining the relationships you want with them? What do they ask of you in order to sustain or thrive? As your awareness of your own social topography is heightened, continue to gaze further and further into the distance around you—looking in all directions, north, south, east, west, up, and down. Notice the individuals who are planted at the periphery of
