Falling in Love: Why We Choose the Lovers We Choose
Language: English
Pages: 302
ISBN: 0415951879
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
Falling in Love is the first book to unlock the mysteries of how and why we fall in love. Renowned psychologist Ayala Pines shows us why we fall for the people we do, and argues convincingly that we love neither by chance nor by accident. She offers sound advice for making the right choices when it comes to this complicated emotion. Packed with helpful suggestions for those seeking love and those already in it, this book is about love's many puzzles.
The second edition furthers the work of the popular and successful first edition. With expanded research, theory, and practice, this book once again provides one of a kind understandings of the experience of love. The new edition offers updated references to recent research, new chapter exercises, and "case examples" of romantic stories to begin each chapter.
Vygotsky: Philosophy and Education
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Reading Body Language (Idiot's Guides)
The Mass Psychology of Fascism (3rd Edition)
Practical Social Skills for Autism Spectrum Disorders: Designing Child-Specific Interventions
Hypnosis: Theories, Research and Applications
Psychology After Discourse Analysis: Concepts, methods, critique
attractive or an unattractive woman (the same woman with different makeup) he was going to meet. Again, results showed that both the arousal and the woman’s attractiveness had an effect. The men who were aroused (by either the AR OUSAL: THE ELIXIR OF LOVE 21 funny tape or the horrible tape) found the attractive woman more attractive than did the men who were not aroused (who listened to the boring tape). The aroused men found the unattractive woman even less attractive than did the men who
were interested in meeting them again. Results showed that the level of satisfaction with the blind date, the desire to meet again, and the probability of meeting again were all a function of only one thing—the physical attractiveness rating. Personality traits, intelligence, and similar attitudes had little effect.7 We assume that what is beautiful is good, that attractive people possess positive traits,8 and that attractive men are more masculine and beautiful women are more feminine.9 We see
me when I am old and no longer beautiful?” she asks with pain and anxiety. SIMILARITY IN ATTRACTIVENESS There is extensive evidence that the lovers we choose share with us a similar level of attractiveness. Although we may have preferred to get involved with the most attractive person we knew, most of us eventually have to compromise and accept someone who is neither more attractive nor less attractive than we are. It is possible that this similarity results not from an active selection process,
Be a good listener, encourage the person to talk about him- or herself, make him or her feel important, and give honest and sincere appreciation.11 A number of studies supported Carnegie’s recommendations; we tend to like people who appreciate us and compliment us.12 Well aware that compliments are not always genuine, it is important to us that appreciation does not disguise an ingratiation that is aimed at getting us to do or give something. It was shown that, although people liked most an
“natural selection” favors those individuals ON MEN, WOMEN, AND LOVE 89 who adapt better to their environments. The evidence for “good adaptation” is simple: more offspring in the next generations.19 To these basic Darwinian concepts, modern evolutionists added the term parental investment, meaning the energy invested by parents in giving birth and raising an offspring.20 The larger the difference between the sexes in their parental investment, the larger the differences between their
