Confessions of a Pickup Artist Chaser: Long Interviews with Hideous Men
Clarisse Thorn
Language: English
Pages: 322
ISBN: 1475098685
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
There's an enormous subculture of men who trade tips, tricks, and tactics for seducing women. Within the last half-decade or so, these underground "pickup artists" have burst into the popular consciousness, aided by Neil Strauss’s bestselling book The Game and VH1’s hit reality show The Pick-Up Artist. Some men in the seduction community are sleazy misogynists who want nothing more than power and control. Some are shy wallflowers who don't know how to say hi to a girl. The one thing they all have in common is a driving need to attract women.
Clarisse Thorn, a feminist S&M writer and activist, spent years researching these guys. She observed their discussions, watched them in action, and learned their strategies. By the end of it all, she'd given a lecture at a seduction convention and decided against becoming the next great dating coach. In Confessions of a Pickup Artist Chaser, Clarisse tells the story of her time among these Casanovas, as well as her own unorthodox experiences with sex and relationships. She examines the conflicts and harmonies of feminism, pickup artistry, and the S&M community. Most of all, she deconstructs and reconstructs our views on sex, love, and ethics — and develops her own grand theory of the game.
Find Clarisse's blog at clarissethorn.com, or follow her on Twitter @ClarisseThorn.
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says, "Okay, I guess," in a bored tone, but doesn't actively say "no". Not a partner who is silent and non-reactive, but doesn't actively stop you when you start having sex with them. Not a partner who seems hesitant, or anxious, or confused. Enthusiastic consent means an enthusiastic partner: one who is responding passionately, kissing you back, saying things like "Yes" or "Oh my God, don't stop"… or a partner who talks to you ahead of time about what will happen, as many BDSMers and sex workers
me. I said, "I'd rather not have sex tonight…" and then I faltered, overwhelmed by anxiety. I added awkwardly, "I don't know, I can't explain it…." "It's okay," he said in a completely friendly, no-nonsense way. "You don't have to explain it. Of course I don't want to do anything you don't want to do." He didn't move away, kept his hands on me, maintained intimacy while respecting my boundaries. I was stunned at the flood of relief that went through me just because he hadn't acted put out. I
using "freeze-outs"… but a lot of them acted in a more pressure-free way than most freeze-out descriptions. They told me that when a girl starts giving LMR, they would do something like: * offer to get her a glass of water, * suggest that they go grab a snack together, * or just call it a night. Which all sounds completely reasonable to me! I'm not sure why they called these activities freeze-outs. I guess it's just because the activities can look superficially similar from the outside, and
Then I felt mad at myself, because I sounded like a breathless idiot. "It's not a trick," Brian said. "It's a question… and you can answer it however you like." I settled for a quick kiss and then breezed into my friend's apartment, sparkling. As it turned out later, Brian's actions were indeed a routine that he had developed very carefully, specifically including feminist concerns about enthusiastic consent. You can read his description of what he was doing in Appendix F. "Where have you
have sex — just try to keep subtle control of logistics such that the rate at which you approach a possible hookup roughly corresponds to the rate at which his emotional attraction is growing. If you can't think of a smooth, natural way to delay isolation until you've hit hookpoint, then you have to weigh your options and make a quick decision: would you rather bail on the interaction, or go for it and risk the possibility that you won't hit hookpoint at all? I'd like to stress gently, here, that
